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How strong is your mind-to-mouth connection?

One of the things we’re always aiming for when we speak is to be clear. Sometimes to be impactful as well, but definitely to be clear.  [Video content is below, too, if you prefer to watch.] And one of the key reasons that we don’t achieve this clarity goal is when our mouth is ahead of our mind: we don't have a strong mind-to-mouth connection.  When our mouth is running the show, any of these issues can happen. I'm sure you'll recognise yourself in at least one of them! Most people do at least one of these on a regular basis. We: Ramble ...

Do you Prefer “I feel” or “I think” when you Speak? And Why it Matters.

Speaking with a younger client hoping for promotion this week, she was telling me about meeting a partner in her firm to discuss her concerns about a team process. And I noticed in her retelling of the conversation with him that she was continually using “I feel” and “I felt” to describe what she was observing.  Even though there were feelings involved on her part, using this language can be a concern for a few reasons:   For us. Saying “I feel” - it’s personal. It’s closer to us. We are actually priming ourselves to attach more strongly to the idea we’re expressing. This...

Don’t fight reality when speaking in public

Many of my clients try to fight or deny the reality of their situation when they have a presentation or important event coming up. And I've found, interestingly, that while it’s more for fearful or anxious clients, it's also common with highly confident clients who lack the time or focus to devote to their talks or presentations. Fighting your reality plays out in three different timeframes. You may recognise all, or just one of them: 1st: leading up to the event. You procrastinate and put off preparing your slide deck or notes. In fact you may not give yourself any thinking time at...

Start Speaking Strongly – Simple Tip

Start Speaking Strongly A video tip for you today on starting cleanly and precisely in a way that can potentially give you more impact if you're chairing a meeting or emceeing an event or you're giving a presentation. https://vimeo.com/sarahdenholm/start-strongly?share=copy It's probably something you've never thought of before, and it's an easy one to try. This will work in all sorts of scenarios too - even socially. And if you're a nervous speaker who's never quite sure what's going to come out of your mouth when you start to speak, it will definitely help you too. Keep your mouth closed, literally, until the first words have...

How Far Does your Energy Reach as a Speaker?

How Far Does your Energy Reach as a Speaker? Does your energy reach your audience? If you're nervous, or a low-key or particularly introverted speaker, you'll probably find that you're not expanding your energy (or voice) towards your audience in a big enough way. Of course I'm talking about being live in a room with an audience - a meeting or presentation for example. However this can also apply when you're sitting in front of a Teams or Zoom meeting. If you're nervous, or a quieter personality, it's likely that what you're signalling isn't strong enough for your audience to pick up and...

To persuade, check your tone

To persuade, check your 'tone'. How often do you focus on your tone of voice when you're trying to persuade? One of the issues that can turn people off without you even being aware of it, is speaking in a tone that sounds pessimistic or resigned. Thinking of it as a tone 'scale': Resignation and pessimism on one end, versus enthusiasm and energy on the other - where do you usually sit on that scale? It's easy to be concerned about appearing pushy, "too much" or even cheesy! And we certainly need to be aware of all of those things. But in an effort to...

Personal Story-telling Delivery Trap

Have you ever had the experience of a family member or friend who announces to you that they had this incredible dream last night? And it’s not always that incredible for you when they tell you all about it :) I've certainly experienced this as a listener - it's probably happened to most of us…and I’ve been the culprit myself in reverse! Where it goes wrong We get immersed in the details…second-guess ourselves aloud…and just as most dreams are random, speaking them aloud is usually pretty random too. People relating their dreams out loud can be similar to people telling a story in a presentation...

Key Piece of Speaking Advice: Be Yourself but Elevated

I had a photo shoot yesterday – look out for new images soon – and one part of the day's events was running a small group Q&A session while I was snapped “in action”. One client in the group asked me: “Sarah, if there’s one piece of advice you’d give to people wanting to improve their speaking skills, what would it be?” My answer: “Be yourself, but elevated.” “Being ourselves” is an ideal foundation - but is often simply not enough when we're speaking in front of a group. We need to elevate our natural state. Particularly when we're presenting virtually, where our persona...

Beware Personalising your Messaging At the Wrong Times

Beware personalising your messaging at the wrong times. Two examples from the current Australian Federal election campaign. When we communicate, connecting with our audience by personalising our messaging and bringing it back to us is - at times - a very good idea. But to be persuasive and to influence that audience, it has to be carefully managed: at the right time and in the right context. Watching the federal election campaign playing out at the moment I’m always fascinated to see how the candidates communicate. And I’m going to give you two examples where I don’t think either the Prime Minister or opposition leader have got...

Good Public Speaking – Let Your Points Land

Our ideas are only as good as our audience's ability to consume and digest them. Whether that audience is 1 or 10,000. Let that really sink in for a moment. If that statement is true - and I believe it is - then our ability to communicate so that the audience hears us and "gets it" is even more important than we might realise. Great communication is about creating shared understanding. Would you agree? Good Public Speaking - Let your Points Land I often say that good public speaking – for example - is not about us, it's about our audience. And that our delivery...