Overcoming Nerves

16Nov

The Value of Volume When You Speak

What do I mean by the value of volume? The amount of sound we make when speaking in public has impact far beyond simply people being able to hear us. And it doesn't matter if you're highly experienced, or new and nervous: working with aspects of volume is a great way to access greater courage or presence. 1. Let's look at volume and nerves first: If you're anxious, your system tends to shrink and contract. And you may recognise any of these as a result: low breath, low energy, mind-blanks. This contraction happens to both your mind and your body...one follows the other: and the...

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27Jan

For Confident Public Speaking, Be On Your Own Side

For confident public speaking, be on your own side   Speaking confidently when speaking in public, a skill often referred to as "confident public speaking," can be challenging, to state the obvious. And sometimes people don't make it easy for themselves either: their self-talk is harsh and critical. Maybe you recognise yourself here. There are ways to counteract this negative self-talk, without turning it into a fight. One of these concepts, learned from U.S. psychologist Rick Hanson, can aid us in accessing inner strength and capacity: "Be on your own side". And I thought of this phrase specifically this morning when receiving emails from a...

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13Jan

Powerful Internal Questions to Influence Up

Some powerful internal questions to influence up, if you're nervous or threatened by hierarchy. Hierarchy challenges can rear up for a lot of people. Even when confident, that sense of "less than" can be a real issue. It can help a lot to reframe what you're aiming to achieve. Asking yourself powerful questions such as "How can I contribute here? How can I help these people with my information?" can make a difference. Or finding a way to generate a feeling of 'peer to peer' discussion by asking yourself - prior to the conversation or presentation - questions such as: "What will make this feel...

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13Jan

A Powerful Way to Increase Speaking Confidence

Hello! A video for you with transcript below about one powerful way to increase your confidence in speaking.     https://vimeo.com/sarahdenholm/powerful-way Transcript: Ok, we talk to ourselves all the time, don't we? And we have automatic thoughts, and some of those thoughts and questions that we might be asking ourselves all day long, are, variations on different categories such as reassuring ourselves about something: we might be giving ourselves advice about what to do next. We might be talking negatively to ourselves that we're not capable of doing something or this is not going well. And a 4th category, and one that I particularly...

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09Dec

Confidence, perfectionism and making mistakes

On confidence, perfectionism and making mistakes I've been thinking a lot about mistakes this week; two clients in very different situations have talked about their fear of making a mistake when they speak. How do you feel about mistakes? When I was a classical pianist, they were something I certainly had to contend with! If you have a tendency towards perfectionism, which has many tricky ways of showing up, this can manifest as an almost obsessive desire to avoid any kind of fumble or mistake. And it's a frighteningly constricted and tightrope-balancing act to enter a meeting or presentation space feeling this way. In my first profession as a...

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07Oct

2 Things To Consume Before Public Speaking

We all know the importance of practising before we give a presentation or talk. But sometimes you may not be so aware that what we eat and drink can have a big impact on our performance too. So today I want to give you some tips into 2 things to consume before public speaking, and why they're so important. And if you skim this post and think you know these tips already: you might just find a couple of tweaks that can make even more of a difference. 1. Water Pretty obvious one, right? We need to stay hydrated to think clearly. And also...

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26Nov

To influence have an opinion, virtual speaking engagement, and how to feel more confident

I. Influencing others when you speak To be influential when you communicate or present you need opinions, and you need to share them. (Tone and context are hugely important too of course - and for today's tip, I'm assuming they're appropriately in place!) Too often in my work, I see people with great knowledge and credibility who still prefer to deliver only information and hide their opinion or recommendation. This is a completely understandable – it's a lot safer to fly under the radar than voice ideas out loud to people who matter, or who have power over us – we're afraid of...

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08Oct

Intimidated by People with Power over You at Work?

It's so easy for this to happen. Whether you’re giving a presentation or having a conversation, feeling intimidated by people with power over you at work - either higher up the food chain, or with some other power over you - it can be a real challenge. Intimidated by People with Power over You at Work? My experience I vividly recall working with my first CEO client, years ago now. We’d spoken on the phone, and I turned up for our first coaching session. I remember getting into the lift of this expansive, echoing marble foyer, heart pounding, as I tried desperately to remind...

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04Aug

How to Avoid Comparing Yourself to Others as a Speaker

How do you avoid comparing yourself to others as a speaker...and maintain your confidence? How do you stop comparing yourself to other people and thinking that they look like they're doing fine — just great in fact — when you’re feeling vulnerable, and not confident at all? The most common triggers are often our work colleagues, peers or our competition. Firstly, some thoughts on comparison: Avoid Comparing Yourself as a Speaker 1. We’re wired to compare ourselves to others We’re wired for comparison: particularly when we’re feeling insecure, which just makes it harder to deal with. In general, we compare for two main reasons: one positive, the other less so. We’re trying...

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25Jun

Do you Struggle with Public Speaking?

Do you struggle with public speaking? Do you struggle with public speaking? Does the battle with fear or dislike of presenting exhaust you, or stop you from achieving your career goals? In this article I’ll discuss four lenses through which to look at your challenge. My hope is that it will help you with a different perspective and some fresh ideas - or to see old ideas in a fresh way! First, a quick back-story on my own experience and struggle with public speaking. I used to be one of those incoherent, incapable "I'm only pretending to be here, don't look at...

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