16Nov
07Sep
Asked a Difficult Question? One Way to Navigate Away
Do you struggle with knowing what to say when asked a difficult question? One way to navigate away from it is by using a specific 'attention-directing' technique.
Whether it's being hit with a tricky question during a meeting or presentation, or caught in a 1:1 situation and don't want your answer to be "I don't know" or "I'm not sure": here's a redirecting technique that can get you out of trouble: Asked a difficult question? One way to navigate awayZoom in or zoom out.
1. Zoom in: this is where you redirect by saying something like: “That’s taking a broad focus, which isn't within...
10Jul
For More Influence, Try Grounded Cognition
What does your brain do when you hear the word 'pepper'? What about 'grasp'? Or 'hat'? All these words fire up not just your language circuits, but different senses through other relevant brain circuitry. 'Pepper' activates your taste circuits. 'Grasp', your motor movement circuits. 'Hat' - visual circuits. Whatever you see as a hat from past experience fires up the 'seeing' part of your brain. To influence more effectively, we can improve our chances of motivating our audiences by using language that's: Concrete Specific We'll come back to examples of these in a moment. By being concrete and specific, we build a richer, more powerful experience for...
24Feb
4 Steps to Stay in Control when Challenged by an Audience Member
If you speak regularly in front of groups, at some point you're probably going to have your ideas, opinion or control challenged. And it may not be a perspective you hold lightly. Sometimes audience members can touch a nerve or challenge a deeply held value…if this has ever happened to you, you'll know that it can hit hard. Or perhaps you're not holding a strong viewpoint, but simply feel a bit raw that day: something in your life isn't working, or you feel vulnerable or unwell. I've certainly had to step up and run a group or speak to an audience while...
07Jan
For Influence and Confidence, Question Lazy Labels
For influence, question lazy labels
We label and put people and ideas into boxes all the time: and we need to. These short-cuts for our brain are vital to let us get on with our day without stopping to second-guess ourselves. And it's much faster to label than to try to understand. However, by their very nature these labels stop us from thinking more deeply and being curious. And if you follow me regularly you'll know that I believe curiosity to be a major super-power for successful communication. The good news is that avoiding or questioning these label shortcuts can be a major...
10Dec
Your truth or universal truth, get to the point, and a self-worth reminder
1. To influence: are you speaking a universal truth, or your own?
If as a presenter we generalise about things that aren't true for our audience, they'll usually disconnect, and the opportunity to influence disappears. And if you think this doesn't apply to you, it's worth a check-in: it's surprisingly common. Some sentence starters to be aware of when you speak: “We all appreciate that…” – are you sure? “Of course you know…” – do we? “We’ve all felt/done/heard…” – have we? Any of these can create a barrier between speaker and audience. If I feel “you’re not talking to me” , you lose me. The speaker...
16Jul
Unconscious Speaking Habits May Be Holding You Back
Are you aware of what you do with your hands, or if you use many filler words (like, um, you know) when communicating? And that these unconscious speaking habits may be holding you back?
Most people aren't that aware - and this is often a good thing! We have enough to do to get through each day without finding something else to work on, let's face it. And a few filler works like 'um' aren't an issue. (The problem comes when they multiply and become a barrier for the listener.) Likewise with gesturing. We gesture to help us think, and it's important not...
18Jun
Communication Challenge: Avoid Empty Phrases When You Communicate
A frequent challenge when speaking is to avoid adding empty phrases when you communicate. And there are a few popular ones doing the rounds at the moment which, in my view, weaken and dilute the message you're trying to convey. Avoid Empty Phrases When You Communicate When we want to get a point across at work, whether in a conversation, meeting or presentation, it's important to be clear and crisp (unless, of course, we're trying to create a smokescreen or divert attention from something undesirable!). And there are some empty phrases which just bloat our communication. Here's a recent quote from a high-level sportsperson...
28May
Communication Challenge: Talking Too Much When Trying to Convince
Talking too much when trying to convince or persuade others.
Does this communication style sound like you? Talking too much when trying to convince! In my experience there are common reasons for talking too much, especially when trying to convince or persuade others. Here are 8 - see if you recognise yourself in one or more: You don't trust in the merit of your ideas (my last post on this is here) and are trying to convince yourself - even more than your listeners. You may think that if you just keep talking, something will click and work out. How many sales...
29Apr